Embarassed to be in Indiana

I went to Indiana this weekend to visit with my husband's family. It was a fun weekend. We stayed at a beautiful park (www.springmillin.com), went swimming, had a reunion, and caught up with everyone. But, at times I found myself dreading the trip, and then, once we were there, dreading seeing everyone.

I realized on Saturday it was because of my weight. I am just so heavy now that I hate the way I look. I feel like everyone is judging me. When I walk away, I fear that they all whisper, "wow, Sara has put on a lot of weight since we saw her last." I fear that because that is exactly what I would think/say.

Oh the irony.

I told my wonderful husband that I was sometimes uncomfortable around his family. At first I said it was because I still didn't know all of them that well. But as I sat in our dark hotel room, flipping through the TV channels I faced my own reality. I am embarassed of me. I am uncomfortable because of me.

So, on the drive home I told him by this time next year I want to be thinner...a lot thinner (there were some other goals too but they are private).

Skinny Sara has fun in Indiana

my 2008 blog title:)

The Beck Diet Solution

Hello all~
I started reading a new book last night called the Beck Diet Solution. Other people that I know (virtually) have been reading and commenting on it so I decided to give it a try. It's a really interesting book so far.

The book will work with any healthy diet, which is nice. The premise is that people are not successful dieters because they never learned how to think as a thin person. The writer is open and honest about what you will have to do in order to loose weight and keep it off.

I like honesty.

For example, she said you will always have to eat a restricted diet. Bummer....

But, she also states that through the exercises in her book you will learn to want to eat a restricted diet vs. feeling deprived. You will enjoy not feeling overly full or knowing you are making the right choices.

She also stated that most thin people restrict their diet. They might not think about it because it happens very naturally for them, but they do it. I started thinking of all my "thin" friends and I would agree with that.

So, I'm hoping to Think Like A Thin Person. I'll let you know how it goes.

This week on the diet has been going pretty well, though I may be fooling myself because the scale is not agreeing with me.

RESISTANT To Change

All~
I got my blood work results back. I had high cholesterol...including high bad cholesterol, and high insulin levels. The doctor is putting me on some medicine for the insulin. I'm not diabetic...not yet anyway.

It is time to bet my butt in gear and change...no joking around anymore and thinking I'm young and I can do anything and that I carry my weight well and that I am heavy but healthy.

I am pretty sure I am insulin resistant...what does that mean? Well, from what I've read it means you have high insulin, but you are not diabetic. If left alone it can turn into type 2 diabetes. Symptoms include-weight gain, fatigue, weight gain around your abdomen, hard time loosing weight, craving sugar and high-carb items, and some other things. I have all of that.

I go on medicine for 1 month to try and get my weight down and insulin and chloresterol under control.

I am 27

I am too young for this.

Going to Get some blood work

Hi all,
So sorry I haven't been on for a while. Things are going ok. Last weeks weigh in I lost 1 lb, which is great because I did not expect to loose anything.

I saw my doctor about my weight troubles and she ordered some blood work. I'm going to get my insulin tested (diabetes runs in the family), glucose tolerance, and thyroid (also runs in the family). I'll let you know how it goes.

On one hand I'm hoping something shows up so that I'll know why I'm having such a hard time loosing weight. On the other hand I do not want anything to show up because it may mean a lifetime commitment to taking medicine. So, I am torn.

My friend the other day suggested that I come up with things to keep me motivated...like how my back hurts and I don't want it to anymore...or I want to run around with my son and not be tired....I'm trying to come up with a good, honest list for that.

Week is going better

hi all,
Just wanted to let you know that this week is a little better. I have tracked my points all but yesterday...and didn't eat very well yesterday or today, but I have done some activity every day and been eating better in general, so that is good.

WW ice cream- bought some mint chocolate chip today, it's expensive but good.

I won't be able to weigh in on Saturday; I'm still debating on whether to weight in tomorrow or not.

Gained 1.8

Weighed in...gained 1.8. I was sad but not shocked. I'm writing every bite down so far, which is good for me.

Fake It Until You Make It

I was going to title this blog, I don't want to weigh in. My weigh ins are Saturday morning. I picked this so that my husband and I could still go on a date Saturday evening without me freaking out about my weight.

But, today my parents came into town and I used that as my excuse to be bad. I ate out for 2 of my meals, drank a regular soda, and snacked (though on low-point food) WAYYYYYY to much.

So, I don't want to weigh in.

But, as I was typing it I remembered something a friend told me several months ago. She is part of a Yahoo support group that is on WW and one of the lady's was saying, Fake it until you make it.

From my understanding she was saying, focus on the good of the week. Talk about what you have learned, what you have done well, what you know is right, rather than focusing too much on what you have done wrong.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't face up to your week and your mistakes, but I think too often we concentrate on those things.

So, what I did well:
I worked out 3 days...once on my elliptical, once on my new bike, and once taking a long walk with my son. I tracked my points 6 days. I tried new, low-point snacks that I was afraid I wouldn't like.

What have you done well?