I went to Indiana this weekend to visit with my husband's family. It was a fun weekend. We stayed at a beautiful park (www.springmillin.com), went swimming, had a reunion, and caught up with everyone. But, at times I found myself dreading the trip, and then, once we were there, dreading seeing everyone.
I realized on Saturday it was because of my weight. I am just so heavy now that I hate the way I look. I feel like everyone is judging me. When I walk away, I fear that they all whisper, "wow, Sara has put on a lot of weight since we saw her last." I fear that because that is exactly what I would think/say.
Oh the irony.
I told my wonderful husband that I was sometimes uncomfortable around his family. At first I said it was because I still didn't know all of them that well. But as I sat in our dark hotel room, flipping through the TV channels I faced my own reality. I am embarassed of me. I am uncomfortable because of me.
So, on the drive home I told him by this time next year I want to be thinner...a lot thinner (there were some other goals too but they are private).
Skinny Sara has fun in Indiana
my 2008 blog title:)