Sickness Stinks, Until You See the Scale:)

So I have been very sick since Wednesday, barely able to eat anything until last night we went to the Cheesecake factory, and I was able to manage a little meal and piece of cheesecake :).

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, I hate to be sick. It's especially hard with a little one when you feel dizzy and nauseated so you can't play with him like you want. But my husband and mom jumped in to help and we all survived.

I did feel a little better when I got on the scale yesterday morning and lost 1.8 for the week! Just need to keep this going now.

Mom is going healthy for thankgiving, sugar free, low-fat, that kind of thing. I was a little sad when she told me that, but appreciate her efforts. My mom has lost over 50 lbs and is less than 9 lbs from her goal weight! She is going to be 70 next June and now walks 4 miles 5 days a week and is very active and healthy! She is a good inspiration.

Alright, I'm going to rest, still not feeling the best. Stay strong over Thanksgiving.

I lost .6

I just wanted to report in that I lost .6 lbs this week...not the best but I was happy to have a loss. Hard weekend at home, lots of temptations. Today hasn't been great either but it's only Monday!

Serious about Being Serious

So, I hate to keep posting when I'm not making positive progress. I have continued to gain weight week after week lately, which has been very discouraging. I know I deserve it, but I just hope against all reality that I will be rewarded for WANTING to change vs actually CHANGING.

This week in my bible study I asked that people pray that I get serious. That I was so tired of asking for help and then not being serious.

I blame others for my lack or discipline, I blame the time of year (Halloween candy), job (sometimes stressful), being tired, being happy, being busy, being bored....pretty much I blame everyone but myself.

So, I am stripping away the things that I blame and rely on too much...right now I am not getting accountability calls, I'm not rewarding myself for working out, my goal is to just do it.

I need to get serious! My mini goal is to loose 10-15 lbs by Christmas. I will try to report my progress each week.

$500 Cookies

I went home this last weekend to see my neices compete in the county fair.

Fairs are the devil...

Or atleast the food is.

I didn't do bad I thought, but when I got home the scale told me different. Oh well...back on the wagon again!

The cool news is my neice baked cookies for a junior competition and got grand champion. The cookies were then auctioned off and the buyers paid $500! She was so excited I wanted to cry for her. I once sold a cake at the same fair for $400. It seems crazy I know, but just the fact that the community supports the youth in such an amazing way is really heart warming. Made me miss the small town America I grew up in.

Not too much else to report, oh, go to http://www.sparkpeople.com/, it's a site a friend told me about. I haven't done a ton on it yet, but it's free and let's you track calories, fat, etc. It also has recipees and things like that, looks like a good one!

Turning a Page?

I have felt myself change in the last few weeks. A change of heart, a change of mind...a change. I am truely tired of being overweight. And I can remember that I'm tired of this feeling every moment of every day, and rather than being tired and depressed I am determined and hopeful.

I had a good week this week, lost over 2 lbs, which is slow going but a healthy rate to loose at.

I am turning a page; I'm done with not controlling myself. It's a long journey but it's going to be a good one.

The Biggest Loser

Isn't it funny how a television show can change the meaning of a label? Suddenly everyone wants to be the Biggest Loser, suddenly people are chearing others on to be the Biggest Loser. All over the world people are having contests to see who the Biggest Loser is...amazing.

I watched the season premier of The Biggest Loser last night. It was amazing. Those people were just working their little tails off, and what a humbling experience to see your weight on a scale in front of hundreds/thousands/millions of people.

I don't like that when someone "only" lost 7 lbs her first week she was considered a slacker. I realize that these people are working out full-time, surrounded with fitness help and healthy eating advice, so their losses are going to be...amazing, but also a bit unrealistic for the rest of us.

So, I encourage your to be encouraged by these loosers. But also realize that you won't be able to, nor should you be expected to, loose that much weight in a weeks time...that is unless you have time to work out 8 hours a day!

Cheer for these big loosers, and become a looser yourself, that is what I've decided to do.

By the way, I set my alarm an hour earlier this morning, bound and determined to work out before work. I actually got up, but a quick illness kept me from doing it (big bummer). I'm proud of getting out of bed atleast!

I went to the doctor, hopefully I'll get this health stuff cleared up so I can work out and become a big not-fat looser!

Diet Coke and Cinnamelts Please....

I packed up my son and headed into town; I was going to get drive-thru. The whole time I was battling in my head what I should get and what I shouldn't get and how it was silly for me to be paying for food when I didn't really want something.

So, I did what every reasonable person would that is trying to loose weight, I drove through the golden arches, got a diet coke, and a chicken sandwich (fried), fries, and oh, yeah, cinnamelts.

Ridiculous.

I am going to give up fast food. No kidding.

You have probably wondered where I am, how my weight loss is going. I must say that I am still in the same place I have been for years, frustrated and with little faith in myself. I have gained weight, yeah, gained, and have been half-heartedly battling the bulge ever since I last posted.

I kept thinking, I need to post again. Then I thought, what would I post about? That I have a ton of people holding me accoutable, cheering for me, praying for me, yet I still fail? That, I got a new scale, started rewarding myself for working out, and started meeting with two wonderful women every Saturday morning, yet I still fail? Cried to myself, cried to my husband, cried with my husband, cried to God, yet I still fail?

I am so so very sick of this battle. It is a long long road, but I'm sick of loosing.

more to come, hopefully about success.