Thursday, March 15, 2007

A Moment of Chocolate=A Lifetime of Fat

Ever set out on a new week determined to live life differently? Decide that you will be nicer, happier, more relaxed? Ever lay in bed and realize that your priorities are all messed up? That you want to start spending more time playing with your kids, show your spouse that you love them, pray more to God? Ever start the week full of hope for what is to come?

Ever decide that you are going to change your life?

I think that I decide these things and desire these changes every day. One such desire is to eat healthier, to loose weight. Sounds like such a small thing compared to the items listed above, but it really isn't a small thing. You see, I am addicted to food.

I am going to weight watchers. I think this is probably the fourth or fifth time that I've joined. I really am too embarassed to keep count at this point. I have been going for about 11 or 12 weeks straight and weigh more than when I started. Right now the food is winning the war.

But, I just can't give up this time. So I go back, week after week, and pay a lady to tell me that I've gained 1.2 lbs. She looks embarassed for me at times. I say, it's okay, I knew it was going to be a bad week (again, I think). I know though if I give up and stop going to meetings that I will completely fall off the wagon.

So, I go.

The thing is I must be able to keep my long-term hopes and desires at a higher priority than my need for instant gratification. I have to want those desires more than I want chocolate, or something salty, or just anything that I can sink my teeth into.

You see, every day I hope, but then I open the pantry and this rebellious nature in me says,
you should be able to eat that,
you aren't ridiculous, just hungry,
you have had a bad day, it's okay to comfort your self,
you had a good day, you should celebrate,
you are bored...you are stressed...you worked out...you need to relax.

I am a rebellious person. I want it all. I want the cute body and the chocolate. But I must choose. I cannot have my moments of rebellion anymore if I do not want my lifetime of fat.

What will you choose?

2 comments:

Aimee said...

Hi Sarah! I like your blog page so far. You're an excellent writer. I can't wait to read more as you continue your journey. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Kate said...

sarah,

girl...man, i know how it is...food can be a powerful feel=good=for-the-moment thing...

i have just really recently looked into eating raw..i am eating about 80% raw and hoping to go 100% after the baby...its a really interesting concept...basically you don't eat anything cooked...its a type of vegan lifestyle... but its not just eating raw fruit and veggies all the time either. i am learning how to sprout and use a food processor and dehydrator to prepare things instead of cooking the nurtients out of them. i am amazed at the amount of detox my body went through...and how much better i am starting to feel.

the best thing about it? NO counting... you can eat as much of anything as you want...so its impossible to feel deprived. i find though, that with the amount of nautral fiber i am getting, i can't eat as much. just the same, i can eat whatever i want whenever i want and its very freeing... and i never have that 'ugh i ate too much' feeling...

of course i am not losing weight, since i am preggo but i feel so much better....

its so simple too...it takes a little bit of planning, but none of it is hard. i read this great book called 'living on live food' by alissa cohen. www.alissacohen.com

anyway...i am hoping to see you at the shower! and i am so glad you entered the blogging world! and i would LOVE to see pics of mason!